“Mothers take care of a million things that kids, if they are lucky
never aware of, from the big- paying for the roof over everyone’s
heads-to the small-a lost tooth magically transformed into a rand bill.
It’s hard to overstate their role.
When mothers pass away, fall ill
or become overwhelmed, older siblings may have to adjust and fill in
the role of a guardian as so many of the
responsibilities fall on them. In an instant, thoughts of prom dates
and sports matches are placed with worry about finding work and paying
I, at some point in my life was forced to step into the
role of being a mother. After 18 years of being an only child, my desire
of having a younger sister was finally fulfilled. A new and exciting
world had opened up. A new addition in the family meant so much joy,
fun, games, sharing, excitement, sisterhood bond and above all,
unconditional love. Three years later sadly our beloved mother went to
be with the Lord.
Relatives came over and there were
discussions on how to share in the responsibilities, and that meant
separating us. Losing a mother was just enough pain and sorrow now
having to be separated from my only sibling that I longed for half of my
life, I couldn’t bear the thought. I had to stick with my sister, we
wanted to be together as a family unit and I was determined to make it
work. That meant a lot of sacrifices, being the only female I must
manage household logistics and make difficult decision for a three -year
old all while dealing with my own grief and anxiety. When all my
friends were busy worrying about what they were doing on Friday night. I
was busy trying to figure out what’s for dinner tonight.
bless the Lord I had an opportunity to be a teenager, enjoyed my
adolescent stage and was more of a young adult. Teen years is a critical
stage for development, this is where you have to establish your own
independence, discover your sense of identity and define who you are
going to be out in the world. There are so many critical stages of
development that get lost or has to be hopped over very quickly when
everybody has to really become more independent and more self-sufficient
at a very young age. And for many before they could even make a
decision of what or who they want to be, they have to step in to the
role of being a mother to their siblings.
For many kids they
have to experience the culture shock of not being a kid no more, to be
totally in charge and having no one to run to for help. They have to
give up that role of being a teenager and step right into the grownup
world immediatly. Heading a household as a teenager is
grueling. Teenagers are caught between an interrupted childhood and an
adultworld they dont know how to nagivate. Its hard to find money to
meet basic needs like food and school fees. But the hardest part is
having community members treat you like a teenager and not give you the
respect that the head of the household usually receives.
my observations people take advantage of orphans, forcing them to work
for little money, often comply. HIV/AIDS still plays a major role in a
case where both parents pass on and the older kid has to take care of a
household. They have to make means to get money and this means having to
take on any other jobs even if it means child soldier, prostitution,
victicms of early marriage, working as child laborers, trafficked or
even rely on handouts and endure becoming the talk of the town. Nobody knows of the work it makes to keep the home together. Nobody
knows of the steps it takes, nobody knows but a mother. A mother’s love
is patient and forgiving when all others are forsaking, it never fails
or flatters even though the heart is breaking.My wish for this
mother’s day is that we could honor,celebrate and appreciate our
mothers and most especially remember those who have lost this
remarkable, precious and irreplaceable being. To show love and kindness
to them. I’m sure our mothers would really appreciate that as well.
A mother is she who can take a place of all others but whose place no one else can take.