Research shows that people who have made it big in life are emotionally intelligent, and they avoid certain things to keep themselves calm and happy. They consciously make it an effort to stay away from factors that can distract their focus from the goal. So, are you doing any of these things?
They don’t forget easily
Forgiveness is a quality that comes easy to people who are emotionally intelligent, but that does not mean that they forget all that had happened. While you might argue that to forgive and to forget are one and the same, you will be surprised to know that they are not. To forgive doesn’t necessarily mean the person has forgotten everything and is ready to give the offender another chance. People who are successful seldom enjoy fooling around, and they judge others as harshly as they judge themselves, which means they are not very willing to be bogged down by others’ mistakes.
Never get too involved in fights
People who are emotionally intelligent know that it is of little use to get so deeply involved in fights that it leaves one emotionally and mentally drained. So, when they feel that a situation is beyond their control, they never waste their time and energy on it and instead, choose to focus on something more fruitful. Conflicts often make you emotionally vulnerable and put you at the risk of saying or doing something that you’ll regret later.
Don’t depend on others for happiness
Emotionally intelligent people know very well that they are the masters of their happiness and don’t let others affect how they feel within. They never compare themselves with others and choose to celebrate their achievements instead. They are well aware of the fact that happiness is a state of mind, and one can choose to be happy if he really wants to. To begin with, they never compare themselves with others as it only brings feelings of insecurity and bitterness. When you are successful, there are bound to be people who try to demotivate you or pull you back with their harsh words of discouragement. However, you should not take it to heart if you wish to maintain your sanity, say the highly successful
They never aim for perfection
They say experience is a great teacher, and successful people have learnt from experience that perfection is an abstract term that actually does not exist. Not a single human being on this earth is perfect and to aspire to perfection in all that we do will only leave us with a deep sense of failure at having not been able to achieve all that we had set out to do. Successful people believe in setting realistic goals and celebrate when they have accomplished them.
They don’t hold hatreds
Emotionally intelligent people know that holding grudges does nothing but cause stress and accumulation of negative thoughts. This negativity can have severe effects on one’s health and successful people keep themselves happy by avoiding negative thoughts as much as possible. Research shows that excessive stress caused by negative thoughts leads to high blood pressure and heart disease and so one should keep stress levels in check in order to stay healthy.
They don’t bush around
Most of us feel that saying no to a friend would hurt them or make them angry and so more often than not, we tend to ignore our own wishes to comply with theirs. However, successful people know the importance of choosing one’s own priorities over others and they are often saying a ‘NO’ straightaway instead of using phrases such as “I think I will do this”, “I guess I shall be able to manage that”, etc. Saying no to new assignments, for example, can be good as it allows one to focus on the ones at hand and complete them in time.
They won’t live in the past
Successful people are aware that it is of no use blaming ourselves for failure as doing so will only make us lose our self-confidence and infuse negativity into our minds and souls. Whoever said failures are the stepping stones to success must have been a successful person himself. Failures are not to be regretted but learnt from. They know that one needs to take risks in order to accomplish something and taking a risk is more important than succeeding in it. To rise in the face of failure, one needs to get over the past, and also you cannot succeed in life unless you are confident to take calculated risks.
They don’t focus on problems
Optimism is one of the biggest qualities of successful people, and they are always ready to look at the brighter side of every situation, no matter how low-spirited it may appear to most people. They believe in focusing on solutions instead of cribbing over the problem and this makes all the difference, because instead of directing their thoughts towards the problem, which leads to a chain of negative thoughts, emotionally intelligent people focus on what they can do and this results in a chain of positive thoughts and emotions which in turn improves performance.
They don’t mingle with negative people
While it is completely normal to complain about our problems once in a while, there are some people who make it a habit and they are the ones you should stay away from if you don’t want to get sucked into their negativity. Complainers are people who are pessimistic and choose to focus on problems alone rather than looking for solutions. Emotionally intelligent people know how harmful it is for one’s emotional health to be around negative people, and they choose to avoid such people at all costs.