There is sex. There is good sex. And there is spectacularly good sex so they say. Which would you prefer with your partner?
If it’s the latter, here are ten golden sex rules to guarantee that’s what you will get.
Laugh it off
If you have never done anything in bed that has caused you the slightest bit of embarrassment, you are a boring lover.
The world’s best has had semen in their eye, pubic hair up their nose, broken wind at the worst possible moment, looked down at their body and thought ‘I really should have joined that gym’, tripped over because their knickers were around their ankles and felt stupendously ridiculous because they tried something new and it went horribly wrong. Your attitude is spot on, if you thought, Who cares! when any or all of the above happened. You are having sex, not performing live on You Tube.
Use your brain
If you really think about things, you will realise your best friend is not getting it more than you are, simultaneous orgasms are rarer than snake’s legs, movie sex and porn are not even close to the real thing and real men have erection problems and real women have problems reaching orgasm.
In fact, plenty of women wish their sexual organs not only came with an instruction manual but a lifetime warranty as well. One simple relocation and one of the most frustrating sex problems there is – that 80 percent of women cannot orgasm during intercourse – is solved instantly.
Use it or lose it
Sex problems often are not sex problems at all, they are time problems. Sort your life out so you are making time for two sex sessions a week. I don’t care if the grand total of time spent on these two sessions is 10 minutes, it’s just a very good idea to connect sexually twice a week, minimum, unless you have got a really good reason not to. If you really want to impress, it’d be nice if you spent at least 10 minutes on two of those sessions and set aside 30-45 minutes for the final one.
A quarter of couples have sex once a week. A third have it twice. Only 15% have sex three times a week. Sixty one percent say a long session lasts 45 minutes. Five percent of people watch TV or their iPads while they are having sex.
There are lots of reasons why you should have regular sex and one big payoff is this – more orgasms, less effort. The more you have sex, the quicker the chemical connection between brain cells because the impulses are travelling along a well-beaten path.
Buy a vibrator
There are some very good reasons why every woman and every couple should use a vibrator. Vibration is the most efficient way to stimulate the clitoris and most women orgasm this way. Lots of women only have orgasms using their vibrator. Couples who use a vibrator during sex dramatically increase her orgasm frequency.
Think about the best sex you have ever had. Was it with the person you have loved the most or the person you most lusted after? I bet it was the latter.
While you do need all the technical stuff to keep it going long-term, finding your sexual soul mate makes the whole thing so much easier because if you have got colossal chemistry, everything else seems to click into place. So if you have not chosen your life partner yet, choose someone who you crave to be near. Chemistry makes everything easier long-term.
Sex is not love
Great sex and true love do not go together like bacon and eggs. Don’t get me wrong, I am with you: falling in love is one of life’s most wonderful experiences. When it’s reciprocated, it’s like travelling on one big, fluffy white cloud: light, dreamy and full of joy. When it’s not, it’s like being caught in the centre of a vicious storm: you are battered, bruised and bashed about. Just because the sex is out of this world, it does not mean this is the love of your life. Practice safe sex in all senses: do not wear your heart on your sleeve to the point where you are hopelessly vulnerable.
No-one can deny our libidos are revived – rather spectacularly – by a new playmate and this is heightened further by having an affair. Sex feels great the first few times because of the newness and the ‘taboo’ infidelity buzz. But once you are used to the new body, the buzz fades. Unless you intend to spend the rest of your life skipping onto pastures new, this is why working on making sex great with the same person is a much better idea. Having affairs to keep your sex life perky rarely works out.
Say no without feeling guilty
It’s okay NOT to have – or even want – sex all the time. If the only thing you want to do in bed right now is sleep, fine. Most partners would prefer you said ‘no’ than perform on demand begrudgingly. There is another reason why saying no occasionally could be a good idea: your sex life might actually be more exciting because of it.
Open your eyes
Close your eyes on orgasm and you will have an intensely pleasurable private experience. Open them, keep them fixed on each other, and it becomes shared. Isn’t that what it’s all about?
Author: Staff Writer