Men and women have their flaws and are not made equally. There are some women out there who really don’t fit the mould when it comes to being a good girlfriend.
In the African context, culture and acculturation affects relationships, however, to a lesser extent.
While some men will openly speak out about it, others will keep it to themselves, never revealing how much their relationship sucks from their point of view. If you are the lady, please don’t make his life miserable.
Jealous drives men crazy. Jealousy is not a pretty quality not only for women but for everybody. It appears even worse when you are in a relationship. There is nothing more annoying than having to deal with a jealous woman who doubts everyone and everything. Being jealous of other women and always taking offense when your man is around other women is not the ideal mind-set to have when you are in a relationship.
Everything is about you
Everything should not revolve around you. You are in a relationship; you don’t own it. No matter where you two go or what you do, if it has to be all about you then you the bad girl. Every plan that the two of you make has to be approved before it can be put into motion. You expect your man’s day to revolve around you, no matter what else is on his schedule. That is terrible. If he has other love options he will consider them.
You are too insecure
You doubt your man; you don’t trust him. No matter how much of a face you put on, you know you don’t trust your man. You look through his phone and his laptop on a daily basis. You often accuse him of cheating on you or of some sort of infidelity. Though you tell him you trust him, you really don’t. One thing for sure is he knows you don’t trust him and that kills a relationship.
You complain all times
Yes, we all complain but there are some women out there who complain entirely too much. Just as you don’t like to listen to someone live on and moan about their problems all day, your guy feels the same way. It frustrates to have a girlfriend who whines every minute. If you are a huge complainer, your man may not say it, but you are definitely digging yourself your own grave.
Trying to change him
Relationships require change and transforming from all parties involved. This change should happen naturally not forcibly. Your man will be who he is, just as you will be who you are. If you are a woman who tries to change the person she is dating, then you are definitely not doing yourself any fairness. There is no sense in trying to change someone, especially the person you are dating. Let your nice ways change him not direct words and actions.
Openly criticising him
If you are going to criticise, do it nicely and privately. Telling your friends and relatives about your man’s weaknesses or any relationship problems is a sign of immaturity on your side. Constructive and useful criticism is always welcome by most people. When you openly criticise your guy you should know that you are killing your relationship.
You are a loner
When the two of you hang out with other people, your guy always has to worry about whether or not you will get into an argument with someone or not. You don’t play well with others and you are not one to hide that fact. Having to constantly go out in public with the fear that you may start trouble is definitely not a good feeling for a man.
Can’t be supportive
Man need support when they face tough times. The coolest support is definitely from your partner. If he has had a stressful time in life and you don’t even comfort him or show you care, that’s a bad sign. Instead, you tell him to man up and to move on. When times get tough, even the manliest of men want a shoulder to lean on. If you don’t offer that, your man is probably all sorts of stressed.
A woman who likes to have a strong grip on a man and his plans can’t lead a stable relationship. Having a lot of say in what he does on a daily basis, including when he sees his friends and family members is terrible. Dating a controlling woman is really hard for any man, and it can definitely be an ending factor. Though you two are dating, there is no need to feel the need to have full control over each other’s lives.
Whenever anything goes completely wrong, you always point the finger at someone else, including your man, even if the blame is totally on you. Continuously pointing the finger and always brushing off responsibilities on your man is a good way to slowly but surely push a man away. In your eyes you are an angel that could never do wrong, but we all know that is not real.
Author: Gesture Chidhanguro